The “Most Wonderful Time of the Year”: Managing Holiday Stress

Written By: Taylor J. Koretsky, LMHC

It’s the holiday season, and despite our favorite tunes promising a “cup of cheer,” many of us feel the demand to deck the halls and make wishes come true come November 1st. Fueled by social media, music, stories, and big-box stores, the standards for keeping the magic alive become higher and more extravagant every year

Search online for “outdoor holiday decor,” and you’ll instantly see perfectly adorned homes: wrapped garland, twinkling lights, and giant wreaths. That temptation to click “add all to cart” often triggers a spiral, leaving you questioning your creativity compared to the Pinterest “Moms.” If you’re crashing out while hunting for the hottest toy, like Howard in Jingle All The Way trying to locate a Turboman action figure, you are not alone. The pressure for a perfect holiday leads to out-of-control stress and dread of the winter—as if the time change and cold weather weren’t enough.

Before we find solutions, let’s first name the pressure points. Here are some Common Holiday Stressors we hear about most often:

• Financial
  • Electrical bill spikes from running holiday lights/decorations
  • Spending/overspending on gifts
  • Hosting/Entertaining (food/beverage, utilities, decor, entertainment costs)
  • Travel
  • Donations/fundraising
• Social
  • Overloaded schedule (holiday parties, visiting with “everyone,” cooking/baking for events)
  • Isolation (Being alone, far away from family, grief/loss)
  • Familial conflict
  • Lifestyle pressures (decorating, sending holiday cards)
• Emotional
  • Feelings of guilt (gifting too little, gifting too much, indulging in food)
  • Negative self-esteem/body image (holiday photos, dressing up, food intake)

Combating the Holiday Stress
Whether you’re full of cheer or ready to skip to the New Year, here are some ways to make this season a bit more merry and bright:

1. Acceptance of Imperfection: Time is not always on our side, and what’s attainable for one person may not be for another. It’s okay to skip decorating, buy store-bought desserts, or unbutton your jeans—you are allowed to be human.
2. Make a List, Check It Twice: Channel your inner Santa and list your financial budget, top priorities, and a fun holiday bucket list (ice skating, baking, etc.). Create gift lists with strict budgets and shop online to stay on track.
3. Low/No-Cost Gifting: Homemade gifts are often the best, most heartfelt gestures… Crafts are therapeutic—they’ve been linked to increased release of “feel good” chemicals and reduced cortisol (stress hormone) levels in the brain. Consider low-cost options like DIY Self-Care Jars, artwork, Homemade Baked Goods/Mixes, Personalized Photo Gifts, or upcycled art. Consider giving an affordable experience instead of a physical item, like a museum visit or a Groupon that will create lasting memories worth more than the dollar amount.
4. Living in the Moment: When possible, adopt a positive mindset by thinking of all the positives of the holiday season. Make plans to do more of what you love, with who you love. Use grounding exercises (such as identifying 5 red objects in the room) to bring yourself back if you feel dissociative. This includes setting firm boundaries with your time. It’s okay to politely decline an invitation if your schedule is already overloaded. Protecting your mental health is making plans.
5. Plan Accordingly: If you’re a passionate cook or baker, take the day off before the holidays. Configure your schedule to accommodate running late, or block out time for deep breaths in your car before a social event.
6. Dealing with the Aftermath: Recovery from the season is real. Manage the end results by paying credit card minimums on time and taking down decorations gradually. Prioritizing self-care is essential to regaining momentum. This may include taking days off, practicing relaxation techniques, limiting technology use, and engaging in fun but low-key activities. Come January 1st, consider starting a new hobby, like knitting, instead of pushing yourself to go hard at the gym.

Think about your favorite holiday memory. What you are most likely to remember isn’t the perfection, but the laughter and cheer that people, events, or foods brought you. By intentionally capitalizing on these feasible moments, we can ease the seasonal pressure and reclaim the true, meaningful spirit of the holidays.